All that i knew
by insanepossible-crazydeffinatly
Summary: Never again will I hold someone close.
1. Epologue

**You know the drill guys, i'm a 14 year old shoppaholic, so i totaly don't have the money that indicates i am a certain Ms J.K Rowling.**

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**All that I knew**

Never again - Nickleback

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**Prologue**

_Never again will I hold someone close. _

_Never again will I smile. _

_Never again will I listen to the lies. _

_Never again will I trust._

_Never again will they see me cry._

These are the things that I learned never to do in one year, but the biggest of all was to love. Love never brought any thing to me. That year I learnt that the people I loved, and in return supposedly loved me, had told me lies. The people I trusted had told me lies, and the people I held dearest to me had told me lies. I learnt that to never love isn't hard, because at the end of my 6th year I learned that there is no such emotion as love. I can only applaud myself for learning one thing on my own, and that is that there is no such thing as respect, only power. Those who you think holed respect, infact have managed to get hold of power. Both the good and the bad can have power, and although I learned that there is no good that is truly good, and no evil that is truly evil, the one thing both sides seek is power.  
I can thank one boy for showing me the real world ... my supposed idol, best friend and, what I thought to be my one true love ... Harry Potter. 

Now I know this is not quite true, as there are many other people who contributed to the lies, and in doing so, created the person I turned into in my seventh and final year at Hogwarts.

There were my parents, my so-called friends and heck even Albus Dumbledore!

There was only one person who I can still truly say I trust, and exempted from my 'never agains'. If there were ever an emotion that represented love, I held it for her. She was Riley Fig. My best friend, and who in her 7th year attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

If you are wondering, and I'm sure you probably are, Riley is related to a certain Ms Arrabell Fig, although most obviously unlike her is not a squib.

Riley I am proud to admit, is a gorgeous girl. Petite and dainty, she had long black hair, and beautiful chocolate eyes, like all of the Figs. She was everything to me after what they did, as she was everything to me back then, so many years ago when we first met, even though it had been for an entirely different reason.

Our friendship first began when an eight-year-old Riley and I decided to go to the only park that was in our small neighbourhood. Once we'd introduced our selves while hanging upside down on the monkey bars no less, Riley had offered to share her packet of M&M's with me. If there is anyone who actually knows me any more besides Riley, they'd know that if anyone gave me M&M's, I'd be there friend forever. The rest is history.

Anywho I think that is all you need to know for now, and so with out further ado, our story will take off at the end of sixth year where my world, the one I thought so good and pure, came crashing down. This is my life, and this is me, Hermione Granger, miss dependable and the world's biggest fool.

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Hey all, this is a take off of the first story i wrote.

I wrote the first one at like two in the morning and i was appauled at the style of writing i had used. What do you think?

Oh yeah, and don't forgett to pay a little visit to that blue button at the bottom left hand corner of your screen ... i know you all have one so no excuses!

Luv ya's


	2. Never your fault

**All that I knew**

**Never your fault**

**Dreams by The Cranberries **

Chapter One 

The second last day before summer holidays had been extremely nerve wracking for me. It wasn't because of exams, or some new found plot that He Who Must Not Be Named planned, those I knew I could handle, but an obstacle of a different kind.

For the past three years, I Hermione Granger have had a crush on one of my best friends, loyal companion and partner in crime, Harry Potter.

No, I believed it was more than a crush, I believed he was my soul mate, my one true love.

This in itself was hard enough to handle, but the thing that really got to me was the fact that he was with a new girl every two weeks.

I didn't understand why he could be with them, but not me.

What was it that was wrong with me? It obviously had to be something to do with me, because Harry could never do anything wrong.

Was it my looks? I was far from ugly, with my brown curly hair, (which I will admit does go a bit fuzzy sometimes) and chocolate eyes. I was no knockout, but still.

Could it be my personality? Sure I was a bit obsessive sometimes (so I don't want to fail my exams, who can blame me) and I do tend to try and stick by the rules, but seriously was my personality that bland?

Is it that I'm just not appealing? Or maybe because I'm not all that popular? Could I even dare to say that he didn't like me because I'm a mudblood? I know if I asked either Ron or Harry they would both flat out deny all of these possibilities (for the sake of being polite, I told myself)

Despite all of the doubts I had about myself, I still needed to tell him.

At least then, I would know if he had any feelings for me. I knew if he said no I would probably be embarrassed, humiliated and downright annoyed at myself for thinking some one as godly as Harry Potter could have any interest in me.

But still, how many times had I dreamed about Harry's fingers gently caressing my skin, his lips gently brushing against my own, his body pressed up against mine. I had to know.

My chance arrived on that exact day, exactly two days before summer holidays. Harry had just come in from Quidditch, and he looked positively eatable. His black hair was messier than usual, and his emerald eyes were clouded over as he recapped the Quidditch practice they had just had. As Riley would modestly say, he looked like sex on a stick!

I had been sitting in the Gryffindor common room writing a letter to my parents, when suddenly the portrait swung open, and in walked Harry.

He was making his way to the boys dormitory, obviously wanting to clean up. It's now or never I thought to myself, and with that I got up and walked quickly over to Harry. You can do it Hermione, just like you practised, I told myself.

"Harry" I called out when I was half way towards him.

"Oh Hermione, wasumatta" he asked, still obviously recapping the practice.

"Oh um.... Nothing really ... I... ah ... I.... I just wanted talk to you about something" I blurted out.

"Are you ok" Harry asked, giving me a funny look.

"Yeah" I said giving him a quick smile.

"Can it wait, I'm really tired" he asked, looking longingly at the boys dormitory.

"Well its kind of important" I said closing the gap between us.

"Ah, ok" he said, and walked over to stand in front of the fire. I followed him and sat down on the edge of the couch.

"Well, we've been best friends for six years" I started, "and we've battled all sorts of obstacles."

"Yeah" said Harry smiling.

"And in that time we've grown close" I continued.

"Real close" Harry agreed.

Feeling a bit more confident in my self I continued "what I'm trying to say harry is, well, I like you" there it's out.

"I like you too mione" Harry said back smiling.

"No Harry I mean I like like you" I repeated.

I waited. Ok why aren't you saying something, anything. I began to sweat. Indeed Harry was just standing there starring at me. I starred back at him.

He finally seemed to snap out of the trance he was in "but...but your Hermione!" he stuttered.

"Yes" I said suddenly wishing I hadn't said anything. I starred down at the ground.

"But you can't like me, you.... your....your Hermione!" he almost shouted.

"Why not" I asked him standing up.

"Because, because, because YOUR HERMIONE" he shouted.

I couldn't handle it any more I fled. Out through the portrait, down one corridor and through the next, I had no idea where I was going. I reached the oak front doors, flung them open and ran down to the lake.

The night warm, the perfect summer temperature, but I didn't notice. I ran to the edge of the lake where I collapsed onto the grass and cried my heart out.

How could I be so stupid, I thought to myself. How could I possibly think some one as great as Harry Potter could possibly have any interest in me. Why did I have to tell him, god why did I tell him, I probably ruined one of the best friendships I will ever have.

Another wave of tears rack through my body, I curled up into a small ball, and wished I were dead.

"Stupid me, stupid me, STUPID FUCKING ME" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

I stayed down on the lake like that for the rest of the night, hating myself for what I had done, and trying to figure out the reason why Harry didn't like me. I didn't hate him though, god how could anyone hate some one as good and pure as Harry Potter.

It was all my fault. Stupid, boring, plain, Hermione mudblood Granger.

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What do u think?

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TTFN tata for now

Nika


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